Influence

When she was little, Orlaith, her mom and I would get together on Friday nights for something that evolved into "Friday Night Chick Dancing". This always included eating a 'comfort food' dinner--usually pasta based. Then dressing in our PJs and playing music videos--often Riverdance--the Irish dance group--or singing our own versions of Broadway musicals. The beauty was that three generations of fearless females whirled, sung, applauded, danced and vied for center stage--unaware that we were building a tradition delightful enough that 5 year old Orlaith will sometimes call me and ask if we can do "Friday Night Chick Dancing".

One recent Friday night, we gathered and followed the usual format. This time, Orlaith didn't change into her PJs, but rather put on her ballet leotard and various other accoutrement of dance. Into the machine went the Riverdance video, and her mom, on the couch, and I, on the recliner, proceeded to applaud as the 'new Isadora' performed!

Orlaith would pirouette, tap, and leap across the floor with a sweet smile as we, her audience, watched the "Love of the Heart Dancer"--(a stage name she'd invented for herself, two years earlier). But this time was different, she would giggle a shy giggle, and timidly cast her eyes downward. This went on through four or five 'dance' steps.

For the five years we'd been doing this, Orlaith had exhibited only pure Joy at each dance step, certain that her mom and I would applaud and cheer 'Bravo'! So what then, was this new behavior? Why the timidity in place of her normal self-assuredness? She deepened the mystery when she suddenly asked, (in spite of our applause and attentiveness), "Is that OK?"

Is that OK?

IS THAT OK?

What had happened to the certainty of her dance routine? to her ability to count on Mom and me for total acceptance? What had made her suddenly shy and insecure of her ability to 'dazzle' us?

She has begun school this year. Could the Culture already have wrapped its Judgment around the precious heart and soul of this child? Could her need for approval dispel her inherent Dance of Joy? Something had changed....I don't know what exactly, but I know that I was greatly saddened that Friday night. I have cried for the loss of her enchanted self--the one that danced freely. In all my future interactions with Orlaith (and with all children, for that matter) I will remind her and them of their inborn right to Be!

Pretending

We were sitting in my living room--my daughter, my granddaughter and me. Orlaith wanted to watch television, so she asked her mom if she could. Mom agreed and when Orlaith found what she wanted to view, SpongeBob, she asked her mom if she could.

Mom said No.

Orlaith's plaintive cry was, "Well Daddy lets me!"

Not one to take the bait, Melanie answered that she knew that Daddy allowed Orlaith to watch that program but that she didn't. To which Orlaith replied, "Well, I'm pretending you're Daddy!"

Guess who won?